Leaving Las Vegas
by honeymiel1
Summary: My thoughts on what happenned between Sara and Grissom before, during and after LLV hope you enjoy.


Title: A good way to start the new year

By: honeymiel1

Spoiler: Leaving Las vegas

Pairing: Grissom/Sara

I do not own those characters. I'm only a student so don't sue me please.

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It was the first of January and after the night they just had he couldn't help himself and call in sick. He wasn't sick, happy would best describe his condition. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could since he was leaving in three days. Still he didn't work up the nerves to tell her or anybody of the team for that matter. He had to. He knew that. He had to tell her today that was for sure. The others could wait. As she laid in his bed with only her panties on, she looked so peaceful that he didn't want to wake her so he slipped down under the covers slowly to start their first 2007 breakfast together.

She woke up looking for the man that had been in her life for the past ten months. She heard something roasting and smells of something burning and shortly after that a few cursing words that brought a smile to her lips. She pulled on a top and walked out in the hall to the kitchen, to find the counter filled with tons of fruits, pancakes, croissants, French toasts, tofu sausages, all kind of breads, fresh pot of coffee and an angry man putting on a fight against the toaster while holding a pan in his left hand.

"Did you invited the guys over for breakfast or something?" said Sara still amazed at all the food. He was shocked by her presence as he turned around his hand so quickly he almost drop the pancake on the floor. But when he looked up and down her sweet and sexy feature he almost drop the pan altogether. He finally put the pan down so he could greet her good morning properly.

"Good morning hon" add Gil Grissom as he look down on her and kissed her lightly. She was taken by surprise when instead of letting go and going back to his cooking therapy he lift her from the ground and deepened the kiss swing her around and pin her against the wall and started kissing down her neck and middle tickling her.

"Gil! Stop…please….stop" she said in between laughs. He sprung back up to her mouth and all she could say out of breath was "Someone's in a good mood!" he went back to plant small kisses in her neck when she caught his attention "Hum? Gil?" " Humm" he said with a questioning look on his face

"The toasts are burning" and at the same time the fire alarm when off. Spell was broken but still Sara wondered what was going on with him today. He tried and succed to put the burning toaster out and shortly after that ran to the alarm with a newspaper to make it stop.

While Sara couldn't take the smile of her face her though wondered about his recent behavior. He had been different at the job that was for sure. Sometimes distant but she figured it was because he wanted to be professional. She sometimes tried to make him smile with her looks and jokes, but lately he didn't realize it when she was playing with him, he instead took everything seriously. He looked tired but who wasn't. After all that had happened in the last months. With Brass last summer and Greg's attack in september, everyone were on high level of stress. Especially after one of the team was involve. But when they were off, they were always at one's place and she then recognize the man that she love: Sweet, thoughtful, smart, funny and teasing her all the time about her habits. They used to talk about cases at home sometimes, trying to figure out the puzzles together. But lately, every time she brought work at home he switch subject and told her the shift was over and so was the job. Not that she mind. Their relationship was even more satisfying because they were building something else together that had nothing to do with work.

He got her out of her chain of thoughts when he put a full plate of all the goodies in front of her and himself and invited her to sit at the counter in front of him. Then it hit her "Aren't you going to be late for work?" said Sara almost jumping out of her seat. "I took the day off" Silence filled the room for a second "YOU! a day off! That's it! What is going on?" she added with a smile while touching his forehead with her palm looking for signs of a fever.

"Nothing!" Said Grissom at the same time taking her hand in his. He regretted saying it as soon as it was out, for he'd just missed the opportunity to tell her about his new job. "Nothing! I just wanted to spend the day with you. And after the other night who could blame me." He teased her. " Besides it's the day after new years eve. Can't a guy have a day off and a well deserved hangover with his girlfriend?"

He had sound very convincing, though Sara was ready to let it go for now and enjoy the breakfast, she wasn't done wondering what was going on with him.

For their respective day off together, they when for a long walk in Boulder Beach and then to a small restaurant in Henderson. The day went by fast and Grissom couldn't get the courage to waist that time together with the news.

They were back at her place to gather some of her stuff to go back to his place when he decided to get on with it. Sitting on her couch while she was in her room packing her things, he figured he'd be easier if he didn't face her while spraying the news.

"Sara!" he spoke loudly so he was sure she'd understood. She scream back "Yeah!."

" I wanted to tell you about something this morning" She was busy finding a pair of bra that had fallen under her bed so all she could do was reply distractively "Yeah."

"Have been offered a job at Williamson's college and I decided to take it!" There he said it. She was giving a last try to take the damn bra out of there when she heard job…Willamson's college…decided to take it.

All of a sudden it was as if Sara's world was turning upside down. She just had the most romantic day of her life with Grissom and now, all of a sudden it was like a slap in the face. And the day flew back in her mind at maximum speed: the kisses, the breakfast, the long walk holding hands with sweet words from him and quotes that had given her shivers. The dinner and looks that had made her heart stop beating. Then she realized it, he was saying goodbye.

She hadn't move or said anything for a while and so he walked in her room slowly to make sure she was ok. All he found when he got in was Sara on her knees next to the bed holding her black laced bra that she looked so hot in.

"Are you ok dear" He didn't get to close, afraid of what her reaction would be. All she could do was stare at him. And for a moment he thought she had not understand so he felt the need to say it again "William's College asked me in october to teach for a seminar of 4 to 5 weeks so I'm going on sabbatical from the lab for that time. Catherine will be in charge during my absence. I'm leaving the 4th…of January." He spoke those words very carefully and as he continued he saw in her eyes that she actually understood the first time around. If look could kill. All she could do was throw her bra at him while she got up.

"OCTOBER! And it didn't cross you mind once to talk to me about it before!" She was furious but she continued with sarcasm " oh you didn't have time, I see. In between a case, a report, a kiss or dinner you had to wait for two fucking months!" He tried to cut in " I wasn't sure what I was going to do. But when…" she cut him off

"And yet you never thought that sharing my bed with you made me worthy of knowing the dilemma that was going on in you head, in your heart." He hurried in " that's not true you know that!"

She couldn't stay in the room she was suffocating. She had to move and get something to drink. Of course he couldn't help but to follow her in the kitchen. "I'm not doing this against you, I need to do this for myself. Doing this job has been impossible for me those last months." The words sinked in as she poured herself a glass of water. That's why he was weird all those weeks and he had never share it with her. Sara turned around to face a Gil Grissom speechless "We've been together nine months Grissom and yet nothings has change. You don't speak to me about your feelings. I have to guess what's going on with you and what you want when you want it. I have to be with you when you feel like it and keep my distance when you feel like being alone. Never giving me a hint. And today you play the romantic card saying all the right things, doing as if everything alright and you dare stand in front of me telling me you're leaving for 5 weeks in three days!" There was a short pause. " How long since you made your decision?" she asked without looking in his eyes fearing the truth. "What does it matters?" speaking in a lower but angrier voice she added.

"How long?"

"Since the first week of December when Earny Dell killed himself."

Silence filled the room once again. It's was becoming their trade mark. She broke it off

"I let you in, I tell you everything. I thought I had a relationship with you but you clearly don't have a relationship with me."

He was hurt by that comment and it was his turn to be angry.

"All RIGHT! I made a mistake in not telling you sooner, I get that. But give me a break! I've always been a secret person and I always had a hard time sharing my feelings. You know that fact since you met me ten years ago." And after taking his breath he added

" You can't change me into what you would like me to be Sara!"

Sara Siddle was out of herself "Then maybe I would rather be with someone else!"

The echo of those words was ringing through both of their ears. She clearly was having a hard time keeping a strait face so she turn around put her hands on the counter and waited for him to leave. Instead she felt him coming close to her back and felt his hands coming in contact with her stomach. Shivers went through her spine as she contracted her back clearly not wanting to be touched.

" DON't."

"Sara please. Let me explain…" She then answered with nothing more than a whisper.

"I thought that being together this would change, that we would be sharing our lives, not the bits and pieces that we felt like sharing. You're the most selfish person have ever known."

Once again the silence filled the room but this time it was hard to tell who was hurting the most. Sara Siddle knew what to say to hurt his soul. Lately he had felt that the only thing that was great in his life was being with her and now he had thrown it all away. He now realized his mistake in keeping it away from her for so long, but habits are hard to break. He'd been alone for so long that he forgot a lot of things about relationships. At that moment he knew he had no chance to make her change her mind. She was too much upset. He slowly made his way out already thinking of ways to make it right.

The following day he got at work after having spent the day figuring out ways to make it up to her. He wasn't ready to say goodbye, not for good anyway. She still had one day off so he would only see her at work the next day. Neither of them had Christmas off but they had decided a few weeks earlier not to take the same days off at new years so that people would not get suspicious. So he had taken 29, 30 and the 31st while she'd taken the 31st to 2nd of January.

He didn't find anything more original before going into work than sending her a bouquet of wild but beautiful flowers that reminded him of her. This time he found something more than "_from Grissom"_ to write on the card.

"_Please forgive me for losing all the I.Q. I might have when I'm around you. I'm an idiot, I'm sorry. Please let's talk over lunch tomorrow_? From _Grissom"_

At work people were still talking about holidays parties and Greg and Warrick were on a case in North Las Vegas. Catherine was testifying for the Fyinch case and Grissom was left to do as much paperwork as he could before his departure. The day he'd taken off to be with Sara had left him way more behind his schedule than he would have thought. The night was the longest he ever felt and going even slower as the minutes went by without her calling. Grissom went to check on the guys when they were back with evidences to analyze. He didn't feel like talking about his departure with them yet. He just wanted to enjoy some good company, not that he was any. He could see the questioning looks in their eyes when he stared at the emptiness thinking of the weeks without her. That's when he left and finished his shift by announcing his leave of absence to Al. On his way out, he decided to pay her a visit. She would have to listen to what he had to say.

He knocked on her door for at least 5 minutes asking her to open. He had the key, he just didn't want to push her and risk being kicked out. When he finally let himself in figuring that she wasn't home, the first thing that caught his eyes were the flowers on the living room table dried out from the lack of water. He left without a word. 'I guess that means lunch is off tomorrow' he though.

The next day he knew he would see her at least before his departure the day after. He was first impressed with Hodge's gift knowing he didn't tell him and didn't have any choice but to tell Catherine when she was arguing about leaving for an investigation in Larkston.

"I'm going on sabbatical. You're gonna be the acting supervisor while I'm gone."

The surprise look on Catherine face said it all.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow night."

Grissom could feel that she was hurt he didn't tell her sooner.

"I'll be back before then." She was almost running out of his office when she turned around to ask "how long have you known about this?"

She waited for his answer but was so angry at him that she said to herself 'why bother' and left leaving him with another guilty feeling. He was starting to realize that he'd done everything wrong with this sabbatical thing. It left him Warrick and Greg to tell and to do it right. Warrick was the rock of the team he needed to know that. And Greg, well he deserved to know that he cared and had faith in the outcome of his trial.

He first saw Sara later in the break room where he gave up assignments. The word of his departure had already gone around so Greg made a statement "Grissom before you start giving up assignments and leave tomorrow, I speak in the team's name when I say you'll be missed."' so much for making things right with Greg and Warrick' he thought.

"Thank's Greg" he couldn't help but to meet her eyes. She looked away. So he quickly continued.

"As you can see Nick and Catherine are not here for the moment they're working on a case in Larkston but should be back tomorrow just in time for Catherine to take charge in my absence. Warrick, Greg, I trust you to solve the case you are working on at the moment. Sofia, Sara there's a body near the Bellagio, Jim just called. He's waiting for you at the scene."

He gave Sophia the file and followed everybody going out the door. Just in time to catch Sara by the arm and bring her back into the break room.

"We need to talk" He said. All she could say was

"Not here, not now"

"After you shift?" he murmured. Her nod was her only answer. He then let go of her and watched her leave.

That night he spent putting the miniatures in glass boxes and her, at the crime scene collecting evidences. He was working a double shift to catch his plane the night after. So when coming back from his break at 5 am, he caught her in the parking lot leaving after her shift and he knew he didn't have a lot of time.

"When you nod I thought you meant yes." She turned around surprised by his sudden apparition.

"Look Grissom, I've had a big night, I need to get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow ok." It felt more like pleading than anything so he gave up. Again. They would have to make up tomorrow.

When she got home she realize the ringtone on her cell was still off and that she'd miss a call. The messages note was beeping. She was sure it was him and couldn't help but press one.

"First new message" said the computer voice quickly followed by his voice " Hi. I just wanted to make sure you were home safe… You looked very much tired earlier. Hummm… My plane leaves at 7h15 pm so I'll be calling a cab for five pm tomorrow. I know you're schedule to come in at five but…hum… I was hoping you could come in earlier so we could talk a bit since we didn't get the chance to do so before. Please call me back…(silence) thanks."

She was now filled up with mixed feeling about his departure. Angry, sad, bitter, but she didn't know if she felt those feelings towards him her herself. She wanted to be with him despite what she had said to him then. Maybe he needed time from her, from them. It was 6 am and she hadn't shower yet and was beyond exhaustion so she decided she would call him tomorrow.

Little did she know that she would sleep until 4pm. "Damn, damn, damn!" Sara Siddle knew now that not only was she going to come in at the last minute to work, that was, if there was no traffic, but she had also miss the chance to make things right with Griss. Black shirt, black pants and black leather jacket and she was flying out of her apartment.

When she got to work she was nervous of seeing him. As she was putting her things in her locker slowly, not wanting to see him leave since they didn't have time to talk about their fight, she heard "Hey" from the door "My cab's here" She forced a smile to show him she wasn't that much angry at him anymore "So you're going" and with a sad puppy dog look and a knot in the throat he said

"Yeah" after some hesitation she replied

" I'll see you when you get back"

Grissom wasn't sure if she meant at the job only or as a couple. Could that mean that he couldn't call her while he was gone? She was fighting hard not to cry but she couldn't run into his embrace and kiss him goodbye in the locker room could she? So she turned around back to her locker putting her things in it. She felt that he was still there, coming a step closer just like he did when he announced his departure to her a few days ago. When she turned around once again to face him she was shaken by the look on his face.

"I"ll miss you" he said. She couln't move but tried to reassure him with a small smile. She was using her leather jacket as a shield keeping her from making a scene in their working environment.

He couln't take the emotion within him and the need he had to touch her at that moment. He had to leave; now. As he stormed out of the room, she was filled with sadness and angriness towards herself. 'Why couldn't she call him sooner and put that damn alarm on'

She was staring at the floor for what seamed like an eternity when a wave of panic went through her body. They're not Ok. They needed to be ok before he left or they might never be able to go back to where they were before this whole fight. She threw her jacket into her locker not bothering to lock it and ran after Gil. She almost ran down Hodge. "Did you see Grissom!" she asked out of breath. "Wow Sara you almost dragged me down the floor here."

" Just tell me where he went and I won't KICK you down." Impatiently.

"Ok ok I think he went to get his luggage in his office before heading out."

"Thanks"

She ran for her life to make things right. But when she got into his office all she saw was an empty desk with no luggage to be seen. She was too late. She walked to the desk slowly, like she'd done so many times and sat in the chair in front of his. She couldn't help to look around and wonder what it would be like without him those next few weeks. She took a pen on his desk she wondered if she could feel his hand on it. But it was cold as much as she felt she was in that very moment where she regretted all of the past 4 days.

That's when he walked in with his luggage in hands and put them down as he closed the door for some privacy. She turned around and he could see the tears in her eyes threatening to fall anytime.

"Hodge said you were looking for me". He couldn't take a step closer when he saw her tears falling down. She got up feeling her legs numbed by her emotion. All she could manage was a faint

"I'll miss you too"

Silence filled the room like it had so many time before and then he was running towards her taking her in his arms.

After an embrace that seam lasting for a lifetime he pulled back and with his thumbs brushed the tears off her cheeks.

"I'll be back, I promise"

Without any thing left to say he turned back to take his luggage, open the door and turn around to see a smiling Sara. Without leaving his eyes of hers he walked in the hallway to the cab that was waiting for his last luggage.

He could now leave cause he had seen her smile.

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This is my first GSR fic but I read and wrote a lot of different fics over the years but never put them on the net. I'm fairly new fan of CSI so sorry for any mistakes. Please R&Review. Hope you enjoy. I need your comments if I want to get better. Sorry for the faults it's been a long time since I wrote in English.


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